Depression dug its claws deeper, dragging me to the worst, very close to considering If I should leave or end my misery, full of pathetic mess of thoughts. So tire of being tired, tensed about everything, crumbling down to the floor , breathing heavily, trying to release the tension, jerking my body as the flow of fresh salt tears
The note that speaks louder, Against the rush noise of voices, A muffled sound of distress, A reaction to the present peril, The irons clad that bind more The voice having a life of its own, Rising from the heart, The urge and need to be expressed, Lifted from the depths, Carried as a free offering of the soul, From the wordless wail, Grimacing down the narrow slope strip, Silence pressing hard on ears, Caught in the grip and unfamiliar, Strange fear, crowding trapping, Weaving, something fierce and dangerous in their depths.
Sensations floods me like honey and wine Gliding over my skin. Kisses slow and thorough. breathing him in with fitful gasps strange hunger consuming me looking for something deeper more than a physical touch his gentle strength surrounding me as if am his life and heart so rare and precious he can’t let go…
Eyes held no warmth, ghosts like the moon No detection of compassion for human life Untamed as their reflection, a wary notion Scurrying snapping with fright Hysteria, and panic to mention, memories painful, Cold and detached into a feeling of contentment Relish in nature and sense of liberation. Each layer of compulsion stripped Everything flooding in like a tsunami Flashbacks, horrible visions., Fragments of memories Moving perfectly in sync, A rush of dizzying euphoria Intestines fasten in balls too tight to unknot. Craving silence from the emotional uproar A lump lodged in the throat, Guarded gazes, calculating cold eyes Hidden in the unspoken brooding
Nothing intrigues me anymore
nothing seems interesting anymore
nothing worthwhile to listen to.
No music to uplift the dampened mood
my thoughts in a daze
my mind in shambles, not infiltrated.
Feeling alone, i feel like an empty shell
the feeling of loneliness begin to sink in.
angry, frustrated, dull and lifeless
the spring lacking luster
drooped, something off, missing
Eyes don’t light up anymore
no brightness in them, if not dull
a forced half smile lips curved
the excitement of it all it gone.
Spew sweet words, Say like you mean them, just for the moment. Hold hands, sweet kisses and caresses, Endlessly talk about nothing and everything Be interested not just pretend To hold, be real with . To look deep into their eyes, Tell secrets to and not afraid to, To be loved and accepted whole To breath the same breath Heart close, beating together. Souls connected
Alive drunk on lust dizzy with happiness cheeks flushed eyes lit the giddy feeling of being young and free nothing to waver hormones kick in like teenagers in puberty living embodiment of life the emotion compatibility the sparks that burn confessions in secrecy desires of the heart no teasing , no pretense a spiral of emotions labored heart racing breaths skin burning, a hundred degrees warmer
I can’t Say I love you That I assure you I will be lying to you What I feel is different Its like a strong wave From the ocean depths That finds you unaware That drowns you Instantly if not careful That’s what I feel.
Grieving for the love I had lost Never had it in the first place either Not held and clasped together Stick it to my bosom near my heart For it to beat in one accord with mine This is the love that didn’t blossom The love that wasn’t acquired The love that had limits The love that devoured the lovers in the moment Burnt fire in them, that consumed them The love that they cherished yet can’t pursue The love that entangled, tangled them in its chains The prisoners that can be free from the love Not a chance given to explore what they had Love that is threatened to be dimmed, Just like starting fire, it takes time to dim it Trying to make it go with time we both hope The flourishing of it out, the love. the candle flame that burnt bright, dimming. the love that wasn’t held, felt I grieve for the love I grieve for the lovers I grieve.
Dark and empty, As the voids of space. Cold and desolate. Danger looming in. Barbaric, depraved. The mother of nightmares, clinging to dear life, Looking for any kind of relief. Fears, holding you back, the only comfort, makes your mind churn. Echoes of threats, of no bounds, Ringing, trying to push past. Mind taking over the darkest part. The potion that frightens little children, Make the boldest of men cringe at.
A retort, breathless, angry. Walking around the wreckage Face to face with the demon Deep down, shriveled and cold Heart beating out the chest Engaged in a battle of self-destruction How can one fight a split image of themselves Or it is the inner cowardice on standby Haunting expression, eye pooled Stakes high and all the odds against one Seeking victory but prepared for defeat Too paralyzed to do anything A symbol of strength and tranquility? A sign, one needed for this As one stares down into the jaws of a beast A death wish card in hand.
Animosity lingering in the air The Violent hatred lurking by Fighting it tooth and nail. Acceptable for the co existence, Sabotaging things vehemently, Judgmental, cold and angry No ties, emotional nor physically. Bereft of purpose, ebbing away Taking the polish and shine. Into the dark, murky pool.
The rumble of agitated voices, The hushed mumbled sounds. Couldn’t untangle the words, The detection of agitation. The essence of suavity gone. The principles prisoned in their souls, In the windings of their brains. Shaking with conviction Frozen with an empty look Caught in the snare of the trance Reality had intruded; Indomitable and insatiate.
Setting sun dipping low. The forest line behind. Golden, like the amber of the fires. Burning, decorating the sky. A marvel, a wonder A sight to reckon. In the sunny scented garden, Well mowed, trimmed grass, A picnic blanket set. The serenity flowing in, The peace comes with the place The breeze brings the other piece, Quite ethereal, surreal.